I Hate American Idol

Judging by the ratings, I may be one of the few, but I hate American Idol. I don't mean hate like I don't like, I mean hate like if a genie gave me three wishes, I would have that genie kill Randy Jackson three times.

Look, I watched the first one. Sure, bad singers are kind of funny. Simon was relatively amusing and Randy Jackson was just some fat slug I had never heard of before. I found the irony that someone whose career was as washed up as Paula Abdul judging singers kind of sadly ironic. It was about the time that Randy managed to slosh out of his chair and become the avenger of all things good to Simon that it started. "It" is the shrinking feeling where I can feel my inner ear touch the top of my stomach.

I am now at the point where I don't find making fun or retarded people funny. The fact that Randy Jackson, who is the first person to ever stay fat after the weight loss surgery, thinks he is a celebrity pains me to no end. Every time I hear him say "dog", I want to complete that gun permit. Also, for anyone who doesn't think Paula Abdul is completely and 100% wasted, I need to borrow 100 bucks. She is a unique combination of stupid and wasted. If you gave Paula a penny for her thoughts, you'd have change coming.

What is most annoying is that I think the show found the one or two people who can sing who aren't already signed. Watching the people gain confidence and start to love themselves when they are average at best is troublesome to me. I actually start writing the article in my head about when they are either a) arrested for drug use, b) pose for Playboy or c) start working on their first album with some recording studio in their neighbor's basement. Quite honestly I have no interest in any of those three options. Well, maybe b, but that is another story.

So it starts. Three months of watching TV alone in the office on Tuesday and Wednesday while my wife watches this God forsaken program.

I hate American Idol.

The Fall of the Lakers

I could count the fights I have ever gotten in, but one of them was when I was 13 and someone bad-mouthed the Lakers. I have always been a die-hard fan. I was convinced that the Lakers drafted Marquette's Tony Smith just for me, because I was at Marquette at the time and he was my favorite player.

Last week I watched Higglytown Heroes with my son instead of watching the Lakers. Why? Because I lack the ability to watch that team play. Kobe shooting 35 times with a collection of scrubs has no appeal to me.

I have to admit I never cared for Kobe. From the day they drafted him, I always thought he was selfish. He has never done anything to change my mind. Extracting revenge on an accidental elbow from Mike Miller was the latest example. One thing motivates Kobe. That is Kobe. I watched Jordan form the championship teams in Chicago and adapt his game to make them better. Kobe won championships and adapted his game to make his stats better. Kobe will never win a championship again, because one player teams can't win in the NBA.

I also laugh at anyone who says Kobe is the best player in the league. The best player in the league is Dwyane Wade. Unselfish team player with a complete game who puts team ahead of himself. If Kobe had done that, I would be teaching my son how to follow the Lakers.

Instead, he is teaching me how to watch Higglytown Heroes.

College Bowl Time

What is better than college bowl time? A game every night for a month, and often some pretty good games. Here are some of my random musings heading into the Rose Bowl tonight.

-- Listening to announcers over-hype games and players is as frequent as lights on houses in December. Brent Musberger calling the Ohio State QB "the best in the country" was laughable. Troy Smith is nails, but not the best in the country.

-- It pains me that kickers get carried off the field. Fact is that they are like the cashiers in an eatery. Chefs and waiters do the work, and these clowns take in the money. Anytime a kicker misses, the rest of the team should be allowed to kick the holy hell out of him.

-- Did you hear that Tom Zibikowski was a Golden Gloves boxer?

-- That UCLA victory was vital. If they blew that lead against Northwestern, you could have called their rebuilding project virtually over. Now they have a bowl win, a solid record and great recruits starting to pour in. I am a Karl Dorrell fan and like UCLA's future. They cannot catch USC anytime soon, and he seems to know that. He is taking care of UCLA first, then will turn his sights on dealing with the advantage USC currently has over the Bruins.

-- I like ND's future. They play hard and do not quit. The real thing I took away from the Fiesta Bowl is that OSU is the fastest team in the nation. They may have given SC the best game of anyone, but I am hoping Texas can still do the job. Texas must be good- and fast- to beat Ohio State.

-- I love Joe Paterno, but was he even watching that game. He should be commended on a spectacular season, but it's time to retire and keep his legacy intact. Actually, it was time a few years ago.

-- Is the Holiday Bowl the Holiday Bowl if the winning team only scores 17 points?

-- No matter what the offense, and what the play calling, the teams that can run the ball win the game. I am not saying the teams that run the ball the most, but the teams that CAN run the ball win. The threat of running is what allows everything else to work, particularly in the new spread option sets. The other thing is a QB that is a running threat. Chris Leak is a great QB, but Troy Smith is a threat and runs the offense better right now.

-- Hard to believe the success Barry Alvarez had at UW. I was in Wisconsin for the end of the Don Morton era, and things were bleak. What Alvarez has done there is nothing short of amazing. Retired AD Pat Richter should also be credited for making the right hire at a time with no real margin for error.

-- Reggie Bush is the most exciting player I have ever seen.

-- Go Texas. I hate SC.