People I'd Like to Punch

The following are people I would like to punch right in the chops as of May 24.

Myself for watching American Idol.

Katharine McPhee's blubbering old man. Have some respect for yourself for God's sake.

Randy Jackson. Where do I start. Besides out-eating the fat surgery, what have you done? You are the first person to ever take a stance, but still be wrong. May 25 will mark my vacation from you, and I feel like a schoolgirl.

Rosie O'Donnell. I thought we were done with her.

Star Jones. I am hoping her and Rosie fight to the death- both of theirs.

Wynonna Judd. I watched Nashville Star with my wife this year. Is it possible for someone to bring themselves up in every conversation? After watching Big Red, the answer is yes.

Steve Westly. For the love of Pete, stop talking with your thumb tucked into your forefinger. It didn't work for Clinton, and he didn't have the lisp you do.

Natalie Maines. Here is an idea...Shut up. I like your music. It is hard to believe it comes out of the same hole the crap you constantly spew comes out of. I personally don't care if you like or don't like the President. It is the other crap in combination with that. You know, if you are stupid and uneducated, it is a good idea to talk as little as possible if you don't want people to find out.

Greg Popovich. Stop your constant crying. Oh, and enjoy the summer.

That's it for now. I will have more, I promise.